Commitment

As I was reading my bible today God began to reveal to me some things. Here is what I know for sure....

• I am not the same person I was 1 year ago, or even 6 months ago.
• I have been saved by the grace of God, and desire to give that grace to everyone in the world, no matter how great of a debt their record holds.
• I want God's will for my life, even if that means crucifying my own selfish ambitions and desires.
• I am a daughter of the King, I need not be afraid, for he will fight my battles for me. I do not have to waste my time worrying, being sad, anxious, fearful, afraid, scared, or anything. I know that he will provide enough love for me to be happy all of my days. And if he wills me to be married, then I know that that person will love and respect me the way God intended.
• I do have a family and a community who is there for me 24/7 and who really do love me sacrificially.

This is the point in my old life when I would typically go the wrong direction. I would be lead astray by the superficial love of other men. I went straight to another relationship, seeking to love and be loved.

But now, in my new life as a daughter of Christ, I am acknowledging that past failure and refusing to go down that road. I am going to take the time to grieve, be angry, forgive, heal, re-focus on God, and move on in a contentment of my relationship with him. I am going to delight myself in the Lord, knowing he will give me the desires of my heart (meaning love, security, acceptance, and respect). I will not fill this time of grieving with temporary fixes, nor will I lead another man's heart astray so I may experience temporary fufillment.

It is time for me and God to have some one-on-one time. His love always awakens my heart and rejuvenates my soul. He fills me with hope, joy, faith, love, peace, and other kinds of goodness. Pray for me as I go at this the right way for the first time in my life. I do not want to get caught up in any kind of emotional circumstance that will sway my heart one way or the other. I know I am being emptied so I may be filled again.

God is Faithful, God is Love, God is Just, God is True and I trust in Him.